Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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