Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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