You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
