So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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