forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
