We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
