I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
