SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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