All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
