4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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