I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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