don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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