I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
