I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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