wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
