so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
