3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
