Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
