Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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