Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I want to fling myself into the sun
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
