i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
