420 ftw
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize