I'm so fucking centered right now
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
