I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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