yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
