Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
