There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
