It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
