trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
