Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Randomize
