Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
