Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
