So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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