i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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