I got chris browned last night
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
