We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
