Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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