he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
