you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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