I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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