You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
