life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
worst night to have a conscience
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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