no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
