I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
