Whod you bang
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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