We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
