why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
do herpes really smell.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
