im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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