4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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