I hate your face
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
