Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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