i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
