Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
